An exclusive memo from Lucas to Spielberg reveals the creative direction of the new Indiana Jones sequel.
From: George Lucas
To: Steven Spielberg
Re: Indy 4
Steve-
Thanks for the invite to the War of the Worlds set — I'd love to stop by! Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner; I've had nothing but Star Wars III on the brain. Or, as we say around Lucasfilm — I've had a bad case of "Sithilis." HA! Get it? Like the venereal disease, but with a space opera twist. Let's just hope that I can infect the rest of the world this summer. You know — with my "Sithilis." HAHAHA!
I could go on like that all day.
But seriously, what I really want to talk about when we get together is Indy 4. I know everybody was disappointed when I vetoed Darabont's script, and we've still got the other guy working on a draft, but before we get too far along, I'd like to throw another writer's name out there for you to consider: George Lucas.
I know, I know — I said I only wanted to come on as a producer and story consultant, like with the other three, but after doing the new Star Wars movies, I've come to realize that I need to be more involved. I mean, those other writers are good, but who besides me has ever taken a classic film series revered by millions, blown off the dust of time, and made it better? Nobody, that's who. Stevie — what Indy 4 really needs is the "Lucas touch." Get it? It's like the "Midas touch," but with my name instead of King Midas's.
Where do I come up with this stuff?
I know this comes as a surprise, Stevie, but before you say anything, let me bounce some ideas off of you that I had this morning over eggs in the Skywalker breakfast nook. I'm only brainstorming, of course, but I think any one of these gems could really knock Indy 4 out of the park. Here goes:
-Okay, we all know that Harrison is no spring chicken, so I think it would be foolish to set the new movie in the WWII era (you've kinda beat that dog to death anyway, eh?). I was thinking maybe we should set it in the mid-1950s, with Indy having hung up his hat years ago and teaching full time at U of Chicago. The character of Indiana would be like the Ulysses of Lord Tennyson's poem, resting idly in his autumn years, reflecting on his past struggles, yearning for one last great adventure: "Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will / To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
Plus, if it was in the '50s, we could digitally insert a performance by Bill Haley and the Comets.
-How about another flashback sequence, like in the Last Crusade, except going even further back to Indiana as a baby? Smugglers have hidden a valuable mummy's hand in the nursery, and it's up to "Li'l Indy" to recover it. All the while, Dr. Jones, Sr. is pacing back and forth in the waiting room, thinking that all the commotion on the inside is just his wife in labor. We'll grab some footage of a young Connery from Zardoz for the scene. Hilarious!
And oh, just imagine how the trailer will play — a dancing baby with a little umbilical cord whip? Hello, female audience!
-Looking ahead at some possible merchandising opportunities, what do you think of this title: Indiana Jones and the Wendy's Kids Club? Give it some thought.
-What about Short Round as a villain? We never really saw what happened to him. We established in Raiders that Indy can be sort of careless with his relationships — maybe Short Round accidentally got sold off into slavery while Indy was chasing a relic. A couple of years as a slave can really make somebody angry. I think Ken Watanabe could be game if we pitched it the right way.
-Did we ever have one of the camels fart? I'm giggling just thinking about it.
-This is sort of off topic, but I've really been bothered by that scene in Raiders where Indy just shoots the guy with the big sword instead of fighting him. I know people think it's funny, but before we do Indy 4, maybe we should re-release a version of Raiders in which the sword guy shoots first. It would make Indy seem nicer. Plus, we could digitally insert a few more snakes and monkeys. People expect a lot of snakes and monkeys in their movies these days.
-I know we've been tossing around ideas about Indy finding Atlantis, but it's the search for Christian relics that are our real bread and butter with this series. The Shroud of Turin? Noah's Ark? We could just make something up and give it all sorts of neat powers: The Mittens of Christ, Moses' Messenger Bag, the Chairs of the Nephilim. Again — think merchandising. After seeing the kind of money The Passion made, I just know that folks would line up around the block to see Indiana Jones and the Socks of the Apostles.
-Last thought: Indy grows a handlebar mustache? Weird, I know — but there's something very "true" about it.
So there you go, Stevie. As you can see, I'm full of ideas and can't wait to get started. I'll bring all my scribbles and things to the set next week — hope you've got a few minutes to spare for an old friend. Remember, doing a fourth movie is what put me on the map in the first place (even though I didn't make the first three until 25 years later). With me in the writer's seat, Indy 4 is gonna RULE!
May the force be with you,
George
P.S. The Force is a trademark of Lucasfilm, Ltd. Use of the force without permission is prohibited.
The Weekly Memo is a biweekly behind-the-scenes look at the revealing correspondence of our most fascinating thinkers, leaders, celebrities, and weirdoes.
