Vampires: They're Just Like Us!
By Kevin Field
Oct 12, 2009
VAMPIRES! Don't you just love 'em? If you believe Entertainment Weekly, where they've run a slew of vampire cover stories over the last few months (the "Twilight" sequel! HBO's "True Blood"! "Vampires in Pop Culture!" The "Twilight" sequel again!), you bet you do.
BABY GOT DRAC: This hip BET series explores what happens when "Baby," a successful young African-American woman, meets a sexy, 800-year-old Transylvanian vampire and they start dating. How does she explain to her parents the shameful truth that her new boyfriend is white?
LIFE SUCKS, THEN YOU'RE UNDEAD: A pack of surly and depressed Goth teenagers (is there any other kind?) dream of escaping their humdrum life of adolescence. When they turn to vampirism, they discover that despite their newfound supernatural powers and thirst for blood... their lives are just as annoying and meaningless as before. PARENTS ARE TOTALLY LAME! (Features a powerful soundtrack by Morrissey.)
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BITE: An NBC "reality" show as you've never seen it! Attractive twenty-somethings from varied U.S. locations like Los Angeles, Anaheim, Burbank and Hollywood compete in a series of contests to see who will make the best vampire. Trials include: gnawing on the neck of a rat and drinking the blood in under 60 seconds; stalking attractive college co-eds late at night; and sleeping in. Contestants will be judged by a snarky celebrity panel including Keith Richards.
THE MIRROR HAS NO FACES: After one of the world's most famous supermodels is attacked by a vampire, she struggles with the horrifying fact... that she can no longer stare longingly at her own reflection. How can she possibly survive?
CROSS OF BLOOD: A hard-hitting CBS drama series about a team of FBI agents researching the supernatural -- think "X-Files" meets "CSI" -- who track an elderly foreign man with a thirst for blood, who dresses entirely in black and preys on young altar boys in the middle of the night. After a season-long investigation, they realize he's not a vampire at all but a Roman Catholic priest.
Drink up, America!
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