Being the underdog has its advantage, mostly in energizing hardcore supporters.  At a Democratic dinner in Indianapolis, Clinton took it a step further with a local flair – comparing herself to the iconic small-town basketball team from Milan, IN that inspired the movie “Hoosiers.”

“That great movie that was based on the story of Milan, the Milan miracle. I have always admired the grit of those players. Their determination to defy the odds,” she said. “They were counted out time and time again. But Americans love a good comeback. And we’re going to have a great comeback for America when I am your president.”    

FoxNews.com, “Hillary Claims Underdog Status In Indiana,” May 4, 2008

The above quote appeared over the weekend on a Fox News blog covering the Democratic campaign.  But how did Hillary Clinton decide to bring up the movie “Hoosiers,” as opposed to some other example?

In an exclusive for The Simon, I’m now able to reveal for the first time the confidential memos from within the Clinton campaign that detail just how “Hoosiers” was selected and why:

TO: HC, Maggie Williams, Harold Ickes
FROM: Howard [Wolfson – ed.]
DATE: April 24
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

Good morning all,
Despite HC’s win in Pennsylvania, several pundits – okay, hundreds – have all made light of the fact she compared herself to underdog “Rocky” in the movie of the same name… when in fact, Rocky lost to “the black guy.”  We all know that’s because none of us have seen the original “Rocky” since its release in 1976, over thirty years ago.  Who could have possibly remembered that Rocky didn’t win?

While mentioning popular movies on the stump is potentially beneficial to our candidate, given the state of the race, it’s clear we cannot bring up movies that could backfire on HC like “Rocky” did.  To that end, I’d like to suggest some other movies she could use in the campaign to draw favorable comparisons:

“Cape Fear.”  Takes place in North Carolina, which makes it ideal to use in the next two weeks in advance of the primary there.  More recent than “Rocky.”  Also directed by Martin Scorsese, a master of the craft, and starring the most talented actor of his generation, Robert DeNiro, as criminal rapist Max Cady.  HC could compare herself (positively) to the focused and driven Cady – maybe saying she’ll “attack America’s problems like Max Cady attacked young Juliette Lewis.”

“Blue Velvet.”  I think this one is set in NC as well – though wherever it takes place, it really comes across as more of an all-American “everytown” (NOTE: perhaps HC can reuse this through the rest of the campaign rather than in a single state?).  HC could claim to have the same innocence as Kyle MacLachlan, or if we don’t want to remain gender-neutral, perhaps the young Laura Dern.  (Dern is the right choice, now that I think of it – her father in the movie is the sheriff, so you could connect HC to crime-fighting and law and order!)  MacLachlan and Dern are able to disrupt the plans of sicko Dennis Hopper with the help of the police and everyone lives happily ever after… if not wiser, which we can also use to our advantage.  Best idea: we find someone to compare Hopper to at the same time – Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

Okay, there aren’t a lot of North Carolina movies I can come up with… any thoughts?

As for Indiana, I can only think of sports movies, but all that’s coming to mind now is “Breaking Away.”  That’s about as old as “Rocky,” so that’s probably not a good one to co-opt.  And it’s practically all men – isn’t there something with a strong female lead?

Let me know what you think –

HW

TO: HC, Maggie, Howard
FROM: Harold
DATE: April 25
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

Howard, just read your memo dated yesterday, and let me just say it’s the dumbest idea you’ve ever had.  Stick to spinning for the press.  Your thoughts are absolutely terrible.

I mean, “Blue Velvet”?  Are you out of your fucking mind?  A hard-R picture with Dennis Hopper playing some nutjob who’s into erotic asphyxiation?  Yeah, that’ll play in Carolina.  “Cape Fear” is an even worse idea, if such a thing is possible.  Comparing HC to a psychopath?  Brilliant idea, Einstein.

You want a harmless NC movie that everyone loves?  Try “Bull Durham.”  HC is like the Susan Sarandon character, in that there’s no one more knowledgeable about (baseball) history than she… just like there’s no one smarter in the race than HC.  Plus, she mentors the young guy (who’s a dope – don’t forget that) and teaches him the ropes.  So we’ve got the smartest candidate AND the most experienced.  I like that.

And you can only think of one sports movie set in Indiana?  Hello?  What about a little movie called “Rudy”?  Everyone knows Notre Dame football – they can’t win a game all season but NBC still shoves their shitty games down America’s throat.  And Sean Astin’s been volunteering for our campaign – we’ll try to ignore the fact you couldn’t remember what’s possibly his most-famous role after Samwise the Hobbit.

I recommend that HC immediately incorporate these two movies when speaking in their respective states.

H.I.

TO: HC, Maggie Williams, Harold Ickes
FROM: Howard
DATE: April 26
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

Dear Harold,

I’m sorry to say that I find your attitude hugely insulting.  I may be the campaign communications director, but I didn’t get ahead in this business by sitting around watching movies.  I’m just trying to brainstorm here, and as we all like to say, “THERE ARE NO BAD IDEAS HERE.”

In response to your suggestions, I have to be honest – they don’t work for me.

Take “Bull Durham.”  Sarandon plays a smart, independent, experienced woman… but she’s also obsessed with sex, and frankly, that will only remind voters of the “other” Clinton.  Plus, if I may remind you, while she ultimately teaches Tim Robbins about “the game” (i.e., politics) – it is ultimately Robbins who succeeds and gets called up to the majors (i.e., the presidency).  Sarandon is stuck with Kevin Costner, who represents “the past” (i.e., Bill/the Nineties/”politics as usual”).  I think we all agree that that’s the last thing HC wants associated with her.

And “Rudy” isn’t the worst idea, but let’s be clear – he isn’t the most heroic character we could pick.  He couldn’t get into Notre Dame for a few years because he wasn’t smart enough.  He had to play on the football team’s practice squad until the last few seconds of the very last game of his career because he wasn’t big or strong enough.  I mean, they spent a couple seasons just using him as a practice dummy every week.  HC already has the support of blue-collar voters – we don’t need to keep fishing for them.

Now that I think of it, most of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” happens in Indiana.  How about HC says she’s like the blonde mom whose son was kidnapped by the UFOs?  She literally risked her life in an obsessive journey to save him.  That kind of instinct would be hugely favorable to the voting public.  While I’m the one who said we should try to stay away from older movies, it’s classic Spielberg.  Essentially, HC would be the caring “mother” of the United States who’s going after her child, who represents lower gas prices.  Metaphorically speaking.

Do we go that way?

TO: HC, Howard and Harold
FROM: Maggie
DATE: April 28
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

Hi everyone,

I’ve caught up with your memos re: Hillary using movies in her speeches.  Unfortunately I haven’t heard of any usable suggestions yet.  Howard: those aliens in “Close Encounters” freak me out, but we can get Penn to poll that.  My guess is a majority of the public agrees with me.  Freaky.  Let’s not remind them.

And Harold, while we’ve discussed the need to feminize HC ad nauseam, “Bull Durham” is too far in the other direction.

I think we’re too focused on movies from IN and NC.  Why don’t we broaden the search?  We have so many classics to pick from.  I see on the Internet Movie Database that users have rated “Shawshank Redemption” as the best movie ever made, tied with “The Godfather” –

Wait a minute.  “Shawshank”?  Best movie ever?  Jesus.

Well, whatever, it’s popular.  Why don’t we say HC is the Tim Robbins of our political Shawshank prison?  Able to “break out” of the bureaucracy and get something done?
 
“The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” is highly-rated as well, according to their poll.  That must mean it’s still relevant to most Americans, yes?

“Pulp Fiction” is another timeless, modern-day classic.  Ranks #5 on their list.  Who was in that… Uma Thurman… well, she’s kind of unusual, but let’s just call HC the Uma Thurman of the Democratic Party, slashing Japanese gangsters with her samurai sword like she cuts through budgetary red tape.

I like that.

- Maggie

TO: HC, Maggie, Howard
FROM: Harold
DATE: April 30
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

We’re just a few days out of the primaries and we still haven’t come up with any movies for HC to adopt as her own.  How the hell could it be that hard? 

Maggie, come on.  I think we can all agree that if anyone’s “ugly” in this campaign, it’s not Obama.  That’s the one thing he has going for him.  So we can’t use “Good Bad and Ugly” in the campaign – that would make HC either “Bad” or “Ugly.”  No thanks. 

Uma didn’t kill anyone in “Pulp Fiction” – she OD’d on heroin.  You’re thinking of “Kill Bill.”  And besides, getting back to the “race thing,” look at who she’s up against in that film: Sam Jackson and Ving Rhames.  They’re badasses.  More than Uma anyway.  We don’t want anyone to think of those two and connect them to Obama.*

And “Shawshank”?  Sure, it’s a good movie, but let me just remind you that Robbins spends the entire movie being schooled by the wiser black man when he’s not being anally raped by white supremacists.  Not a good image for our candidate.

H.I.

* If this memo is ever made public, I wish to make clear that I don’t believe anyone would associate Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames to Barack Obama solely because they’re black.

TO: HC and team
FROM: the pollster formerly known as Penn
DATE: May 2
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

Hello all,

Hillary told me about all the trouble you’ve been having coming up with her next “Rocky” moment.  I’d say we should use something a little more timely, like “Iron Man.”  But come on… that’s a second-tier, maybe even third-tier, comic book movie.  (It’ll be lucky to gross more than a 30 mil opening this weekend, and all of that will be on the backs of kids who can’t vote.  Adults won’t know a thing about it.  Trust me on that – I don’t need polls or tracking to tell me that.  Pass.)

Harold, what you really need is a movie that’s about an underdog… is preferably sports-related (maybe basketball?  That’s big right now)… takes place in Indiana (the “Hoosier State”)… celebrates the values of small-town America… and most importantly, has nothing but white people in it.

Sorry, but I’m stumped.

(By the way, I’m still waiting for my outstanding five million.  Please send the check as soon as possible.)

- Mark

TO: Campaign Staff
FROM: HC
DATE: May 2
RE: Use of movies by HC when campaigning

I just came up with the perfect idea – “Hoosiers.”  I’m brilliant.

Thanks for nothing.

Hillary