"When I hear other Jews complain about Christmas-time as if it's some alien, exotic mass-ritual emanating from a vastly different socio-religious milieu in our midst, one that coldly denies us of the holiday because of irresolvable, core differences between monotheistic faiths, I seriously wonder exactly what the hell they're talking about."
The other night I went to a spoken word/essay show and a very successful, somewhat famous sitcom writer/comedian read an essay about her experiences and thoughts on being a Jew at Christmas-time. It had a few decent jokes in it but overall it repeated the same old -- to MY ears -- tired, cliched, easy gripes about how a.) deprived, b.) alienated, c.) different and d.) disconnected Jews feel during this special time of year. As an ethnically Jewish person myself, I feel the need to share my own take on this, which is vastly different from all the tragi-comedic "woe is us" tales heard repeatedly in stories, jokes, films, songs, etc. about how sad and horrible it is to be a Jew at Christmas.
First of all, Christmas is hardly a religious holiday in most of this country. Yes, Christmas ostensibly, nominally celebrates the birth of Jesus -- a fact which non-Christians COULD have a problem with, IF the holiday were in fact a deadly serious, theologically fundamentalist occasion of fire n' brimstone proselytizing, Biblical haranguing and condemnation -- but in fact, Jesus, The Bible, The Heavenly Father, sin and eternal life/damnation are realistically about as connected to Christmas -- at least its celebration in the public realm -- as they are to Shrek, Harry Potter or Scoobie Doo. If I sound like I agree with the extreme cultural conservatives who argue that we need to bring back "the reason for the season," it's only because I more or less agree with their assessment that Christmas long ago became a friendly, fuzzy, feel-good winter celebration, all about sharing goodwill, peace, joy and merriment with friends, family, acquaintances and even co-workers. But whereas they view the wholesale de-emphasis of somber religiosity from the holiday as a travesty, I think it's fantastic and makes for one of the absolute, hands-down best holidays on the planet -- quite likely THE best. I completely understand and respect Christians who want to put some more Christ in their Christmas, and I'm sure there's millions doing that, to some extent, in their homes and churches. But when I hear other Jews complain about Christmas-time as if it's some alien, exotic mass-ritual emanating from a vastly different socio-religious milieu in our midst, one that coldly denies us of the holiday because of irresolvable, core differences between monotheistic faiths, I seriously wonder exactly what the hell they're talking about.
Christmas is primarily about a chubby nordic man who gives toys to every single kid- except the ones who behaved too horribly in the preceding year- in which case he gives them a small chunk of carbon. This fat white man lives and works with good-natured midgets, in the NORTH POLE, about as far away from where Jesus and his Disciples romped the Earth as you can get. And he gets around on a snow-sled flown through the air by MAGICAL flying deer.
The families who celebrate this holiday chop down PINE TREES and put them in their homes, all decorated with nice trinkets like cranberries, popcorn, electric lights and metallic balls. And on their doors, they have more evergreen vegetation, bound in a circular shape. Not to mention that the official drink is a spiced, milk-based concoction, often spiked with rum, clearly another Northern European contribution.
The point is, Christmas as it's celebrated in this culture is mainly a Nordic/Germanic, pagan winter festival, taking rituals and traditions that come, geographically, from nowhere near the Holy Land and absolutely pre-date Christianity. Most of the customs of Christmas are as connected to the New Testament as are a Hopi Indian snake dance, the Ashanti talking drum and the shell exchanges of the Trobriand Islanders. If a Jewish person feels that the traditions of Christmas are too Christian, than he or she should also avoid Swedish meatballs, Beck's Beer and Volvos.
We Jews were never accused of killing pine trees, or Santa Claus, or Rudolph the reindeer, so the symbolism of Christmas is pretty harmless, I think. And what Biblical symbolism finds its way through, is mainly gentle and uplifting. A baby born in a shed, with exotic-turbaned wise men and camels on hand, and gifts of good-smelling herbs being exchanged. Even the Bible quote most associated with the story- "Peace on Earth, goodwill to men"- seems inclusive and conciliatory.
But in practical reality, if we look at all the "facts on the ground," so to speak, Christmas offers so much more, to everybody, including Jews. There is all that TIME OFF -- from school, work or other obligations. The twoplus weeks off around Christmas is truly an amazing Godsend, one that we Jews benefit from as much as anyone. If it was a Jewish holiday that necessitated two weeks off, we, as a people would look greedy, ostentatious and highly demanding for interrupting the flow of things for that many days. But with Christmas, it just seems right to take that much time to get away from all daily-grind responsibilities.
The parties, get-togethers, gatherings, dinners, etc. surrounding Christmas are all pretty much great -- and if they're not great, they're at least more than tolerable and quite well-intentioned. People really do, in general, seem to be in better spirits during Christmas. There's a generosity, an optimism and a warmth, and seemingly no pessimistic, vengeful or foreboding spirit anywhere. Well, there is holiday family anxiety, loneliness and some random existential dread, but that's a different issue. The theological story is all about birth, hope and deliverance and the secular pagan scenario seems to be all about comfort, generosity and community, and in my book all of that makes for a generally pretty good vibe.
As for Jews who act so indignantly detached from and tortured over the occurrence of Christmas, what I don't get is how they seem so easily resigned to and comfortable with every other sort of cultural intermixing with gentile society. Be it school, work, sports, public service or almost any sort of wide-open endeavor among the masses of the general population, we live in a non-Jewish, Anglo-derived society and the same Jews who accept and even excel in assimilating to most facets of this majority society every day, freak out and claim near-soul-crushing oppression once a year when our nominally or actually Christian friends and neighbors put a coniferous tree in their house, play some silly/maudlin/cheerful holiday songs on the stereo and go out to the stores to buy a huge ton of cool, expensive shit that they then give away to other people. Seriously, what gives, my Christmas-phobic Jewish brethren?
Some of my attitude and reaction toward Christmas comes from where I grew up -- in a liberal suburb of Boston. There was almost no overt religiosity -- at least on the part of Christians or Jews that I knew -- but there was beautiful, cold, crisp weather, often a lot of snow and always quite a bit of Christmas spirit. Between all the amazing trees and lights, the bountiful spreads of food, and the carolers who would roam the streets of our town singing to any and everyone, you could NOT have convinced me that Christmas was NOT ONE IOTA for me, and that I had absolutely NO part in Christmas. It was just a cultural reality all around and we lived amongst it. And I've always liked it.
Every single year -- and still to this day -- our longtime non-Jewish, quite WASPy family friends, that we used to live around the corner from, invite my family into their home, late-morning, to celebrate their Christmas with them after they've opened their presents. There's plenty of strong coffee, various excellent food dishes, lively, boisterous conversation and my family always- ALWAYS, as it is ironclad tradition- stops at the Jewish bakery on the way, as it always open on Christmas day, and picks up an essential bread item for the meal.
And in this tradition our families have found a balanced exchange that symbolizes some perfect two-way reconciliation between Christians and Jews during this festive time of the year, an arrangement by which we Jews can enhance Christmas as much as we can be enhanced by it. In this family tradition, our gentile friends offer us to partake in their yuletide hearth, the fragrant scent of their tree and the warm glow of their holiday fellowship. And what we, their eccentric Jewish friends, offer to them are the best Boston-area examples of their absolute favorite Christmas brunch food, bar none--- bagels and cream cheese.
